Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Bachelor Break.. Take Seven

The women tell all... I'll admit. I'm not a fan of watching this episode usually, so today's post will be short!**

Roz. Such a liar. Her points were so bogus and obviously thought up by her and this producer. There are not hidden cameras and you are not filmed 24 hours a day.  You could be in the same room as camera people folding your laundry and not be filmed. They tend to know what they are looking for (Like Chris pointed out) and unless they need some filler shots, they won't be filming the mundane. Our Brownstone was small. It was two levels, but there wasn't a lot of space to run and hideaway with someone. (although, one of the producers did sneak me his cell phone so I could call my dad on his 60th birthday, exactly five years ago this past Sunday!)  In a mansion, you could totally make that work.
She is gorgeous, but seriously I think she may be the devil. I was all of a sudden was cold watching her and listening to her talk to Chris.  Oh and by the way, I've heard that Chris is an amazing guy and so is his wife. (I spent maybe twenty mins with the guy outside of the Rose Ceremony. He doesn't come around at all, so I couldn't tell you first hand. Except that he was nice.) Grasping at straws comes to mind.

Gia, she looked sweet. Ali did too. I wonder if whoever Jake picked will be pissed at the obvious feelings he still has for her.  He's not very smooth when it comes to relationships. ie. Asking every girl's dad for their hand in marriage, asking ring sizes, talking about who he would have liked to get to know more, and going on and on and on.. jeesh.  (Jeesh? Am I turning into the female version of Jake? Is my heart growing wings for someone as I type this...?)

Have you guys been reading all the US Weekly coverage of this season? Poor Vienna. Well, maybe not. It seems she has brought all the attention on herself. I think I would tend to feel worse for Jake, if he picked her that is.  This is the problem with growing a relationship in a bubble like the show.  You don't get to see how someone lives their everyday life (I'm seeing a very messy bedroom for V with old cereal bowls and hair extensions lying around) and that could be a turn off.  You don't get to meet their friends and 'hear' things about them from other people.  Maybe then Jake would have heard about her stealing from her husband (who was fighting the war in Iraq) so she could get her boobs done and her mom a tummy tuck? Or that she was a topless dancer. Or that she still lives at home with her creepy dad - oh wait, he knows this.
Nothing too bad has come out about Tenley except that she apparently wouldn't let her husband see his family.  Boooooring.

Next week is the big finale! I'm hoping that I get knocked off my socks with who he picks. I hope it's the biggest shock in all of Bachelor history. I have a feeling we may be let down. (Did anyone else notice that Chris never did ask Jake if he was engaged? I hate it when they do that!)

Have a great week!


** In my season, a few of us spent some time together around the WTA.  We went shopping and went out for dinner. We really just got on each other's nerves. I don't think we have ever seen each other since. The WTA was actually really fun.  They did a whole spoof of me against the other girl from Edmonton. I was drunk in every clip making fun of her.  Felt kinda bad when I was there.. but it sure is funny (and cringe worthy) to watch now!
I was so mad at them for making me look like an idiot during the season that I insisted to them that I wouldn't say a peep during the WTA. They asked me what I'd like to say to America, to my 'fans' and I said ' F*ck you ABC, and F*ck you America' (It was all that Kettle One and Red Bull, it makes me crazy!). And of course, by the time the show started taping, I was all over the cameras, they couldn't shut me up.  When will I ever learn. Jeesh.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Bachelor Break... Take SIX!

On the wings of love......  Holy Crap! I don't know if I've ever been that shocked from an episode of The Bachelor ever! Totally blindsided.

I also don't think I have ever been so absolutely confused watching this show. He says he loves all the girls and I think he actually does! From watching this episode, I have no idea who he was going to send home.  My guess was Vienna, finally.

Poor Gia. I really thought he loved her. Well he did, but I thought she was a shoe-in for the final two. I'm not sure how much more of her face she can hide with that hair out of insecurity, but I'm thinking now she might as well just go and wear a face mask.  This may be the first season that I actually think this whole process is really cruel.  He treats all the women like he loves them and that is some serious misleading on his part, even if it is true.  I guess that's why other Bachelor's choose not to share their feelings till the last girl or pick girls to be in the final four that they just want to 'do it' with and then they don't have any actual real feelings to share.

My guess with Gia is this. I think she makes him a little insecure. Mr. Dateless has stated numerous times that he hasn't been with such a beautiful woman before. Look wise, he feels she is out of his league.  He may be all sweet and sincere, but I think he plays life pretty traditionally and isn't comfortable not having the upper hand in every aspect of a relationship.  He wants to be the man and marry his lady. Does that make sense?

Sidebar: Sweet reggae moves! It kind of just looked like he got a little dizzy from too much coconut milk. I liked that knit bag she was carrying.. and her shirt.

Oh Tenley. You're too perfect, too easy, too... flat chested? I personally think she is gorgeous. I love her body, style, hair.. I've said it all before. But the other two girls, they have giant tatas and he seems to be so attracted to them. I'm not feeling any sexual chemistry between these two and with the sneak peak of the finale, it confirmed Jake feels the same way. (Does he tell her this or something? Jeez.. how do you have that conversation)
Nonetheless, he has kept Tenley around and this is my suspicion why - He knows he should pick her. He knows she is the right choice, the safe choice, that she would be with him for life. They would dance into the sunset for the next 79 years together, she'll feed him oatmeal through a straw and he'll brush her hair every night before bed.. Sounds boring to me and I'm thinking it sounds kinda boring to him.  Their courtship seems so mechanical. I don't see a spark... which leads me to my next point...

Ali, you idiot! First I'll high five Jake for not letting her come back. I agree with him, he would just be confusing things. Besides, too much time has gone by and he is now in love with the other three (...a week??) Anyway, I'm sure Ali is heartbroken, but I also think that her plea to come back is her move at trying to become the next Bachelorette. I don't know.. maybe if she wouldn't have been such a biatch for the first four episodes, maybe. And what a burn it will be if she left early and she could have had Jake.. but now he's going to pick her rival instead. Ouch.

Vienna. I don't see it. Come on Jake! Seriously! Okay, she's fun. She does make him laugh. She does have fake ones, not too big. She does want to have babies and be a 'wife', but she is the wrong choice.
Don't get me wrong, I bet they would get married because V would think it's cool, but I don't see them spoon feeding each other into their 90's like Jakey is looking for. I wonder what his family is going to think of her? What's up with the ring talk?

Anyway, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed because I think he's going to make the wrong choice.

Next week, the Women Tell All. Another day for all the girls to get bombed and attack each other. I know I had never had so much Kettle One and Redbull before noon and it made for great tv.

Bring on the crazy chick!


PS. A beach and a bikini in less than one month. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Does sunscreen hide stretch marks?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

All the Things I love....

Cool mom thing... or not so cool mom thing?
I was standing at the stove cooking dinner the other night and felt something dripping on my toes. Instead of realizing there was water dripping off the counter onto my feet, I instinctively checked my boobs to see if they were leaking again.. 

When visiting family last week, I got a wake up call from my cousin Brit who is in her early 20's, hot, fashionable and livin life...
'I never want to have kids! Your blog scares me!!'

Well crap that's not what I've been intending to do, so today's blog is dedicated to her. Oh, that and it's Pavel's three month birthday, so I thought I'd list off all the wonderful things I love about this stage in my life.
Happy Birthday my Sweet!

Pregnancy. What an amazing gift to be able to experience this. Yes, there are ton of weird things that go along with it, but with the weird also come the good. For example:
- Not being able to lift heavy objects. A perfect time to sell your house and move
- The bump. I loved my bump!! It has to grow past the plump/bloated look so that it's obvious you are preggo though. In the beginning, I spent many days rubbing my 'bump' at the grocery store saying things out loud to myself like 'Oh, I feel sooo pregnant today' 'Wow, is this baby ever growing fast' 'Yup, pregnant, that's me with a baby in my belly', just so people knew I hadn't just eaten a ton of ice cream, spring rolls and hot dogs or something (I had done that too actually)
- The happy drug. My friends would tell me that they actually didn't want to hang out with me because I was so annoying I made them sick. From months 5-7 I was the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I would walk around proclaiming to love everything from the baseball park, to the sun that was shining, how the grass smelt and the warm wind blowing by. I loved life. Why can't someone bottle that up and sell it??

I swore I would write things down during my pregnancy so I wouldn't forget all the little things. (I guess now is better than never) Things like Sheldon talking to Pavel in this creepy whisper for some reason, Pavs waking up in the morning to Sheldon's alarm clock like he was ready to start the day and how much he hated having anything rest on my belly. He kicked off my cell phone, he would kick my book, chocolates and even kicked one of his best friends Noah who was born a week before him when I rested him on the top of my tummy. He's had an attitude from the start. It's so neat to see that develop and how it changes everyday.

You forget things - We have already forgotten the witching hours of 7-11 at night where all he did was cry for the first month.  I spent a lot of nights having very long baths because it was the one place Sheldon wouldn't come tell me Pavel was hungry again. I've forgotten how much breast feeding hurt and honestly it is such an amazing thing now (don't give up in the first few weeks!! It doesn't even hurt anymore!). I have forgotten how it felt to be close to 200 pounds (not that close but within 30 pounds and that seemed close enough to me) and how it felt like my legs were going to rip right apart like a chicken bone..

The smiles and the laughs! Oh, can't forget the cuddles. I was so sad the first week he was born because I just didn't want him to grow out of this tiny cuddle phase, where he just rested on my chest and slept. My friends convinced me it got better as time went on and it's true. He smiles when he wakes up in the morning and when he gets changed. He actually was just laughing this cute little giggle in his sleep! He loves to cuddle his Mommy and he smiles at me when I've been away for a while. Honestly, I can't explain how good that feels!

  Imagine this. You have this little tiny person who thinks the world of you. To them, you are the most amazing, funny, loving, cool, and interesting person they have ever met. They don't know any better! It's so great it almost makes you never want to introduce them to anyone else ever.

You don't have to go to work everyday, you can sleep in (after you haven't slept all night), you can take them swimming and shopping - it's like you have a new best friend, you get introduced to all different types of music (Celtic Dreamland works like a charm), you read story books again... and the list could go on.

My final point I want to share and I'm sorry if it's total cheeseball. I had the best labor I could have wished for. Some women out there will hate me for sharing this, but I want you to know that this does happen, it does exist - four hours and five pushes. Of course I had the drugs, it was heaven! Sheldon and I had such a great time through the whole experience. It was such a beautiful day. I can still remember him sitting beside me holding my hands, asking questions, counting the contractions and of course the look on his face when Pavel made his way into this world at 225pm. Amazing. I can't wait to do it all over again...



** Ps! Six pounds to go :)) It's true what they say about eating breakfast...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Bachelor Break... Take Five

It was the TSN turning point of this season:
He looked at her, took off his gloves, paused... took her face in his hands and kissed her. Slowly.

My thoughts on why and why he won't pick each girl today.

Gia.  I kind of found her date boring. The pictures were really cute. There is actually a photographer around all the time taking still photos of everything. I've always wondered what they did with those shots. I'd love to have a few...
Sorry, I digress. Do you notice how she is always hiding part of her face? Usually with that giant lion mane.  I think she is painfully insecure. We've discussed this before. I think this could be a turnoff.
Pro: She is beautiful. I don't know if he's had such a perfectly put together woman before - and by that I mean perfect(fake) body.  I think he is really physically attracted to her. She is sweet and he is a sucker for sweet and compassionate - goes well with all the crying he's always doing.
Con:Insecure. Not very deep - do you notice they don't really have too much to talk about? I think he would drown in NYC and I'm not sure I can see her moving to Texas.

Ali.  She was dead to me, she really was, but wow things changed. For sure he loves her. I loved their date! I thought the trip through Grandma's was so sweet. It really showed how sensitive she is, something that has been hidden lately with all the hate. The fact that she moved home and lived with her, took care of her when she was sick and was basically her nurse - that says a lot about a person's character.  I don't think I could do it. 
Pro: She's cute. She's real. She's sweet. They have real chemistry. They are like a normal couple. They look gooood together (does this matter?? I think so) She's gotten over the pettiness of Vienna and is focusing on him.
Con: Well, she left. Idiot! I think she is a bit controlling. I could totally see myself trying the same move she did - I'm going to leave unless you tell me I'm in the lead, give me a hint, I can't take this anymore. Too bad it backfired.  I'm not sure, but I don't think he can tell her where she is in the standings (I remember other Bachelors alluding to the same thing in previous seasons).  Wasn't is obvious though? He was trying everything he could without begging her to stay. 
I feel bad for her though. That's a tough call. It's a recession. There aren't a lot of marketing jobs in a good economy.  On the other hand, she passed up love, she passed up St. Lucia, and she passed up the 'possiblity' of being the next Bachelorette!  (I really have no idea, but they seem to be using ladies and guys from each season.. )At the end of the day they are both better off. And she'll be back... and hopefully he kicks her to the curb. 

Tenley. Well Tenley, the Bachelor was just handed to you. She may have had him anyway. They are a match made in heaven! I loved her boots. I wish it rained more here and that I walked more places so I could have them. Her dance. Okay, this was totally lame, but as my friend Scott proclaimed last night:
Jake equals vomit.  This is totally the kind of thing he'd like! And she did look gorgeous. Check out those calves!
Do you think Tenley's parents like her more than they like her sister??? I kinda do... The whole family is sweet, no surprise.  You could totally rag on her dad for crying and if this was last year, I think I would have.  However, I put myself in his shoes for a second and couldn't imagine if someone caused my little Pavs so much pain, I would cry too.. so would Pavel's dad.
Pro: They both rate very high on the vomit meter.  She would be with him forever. She is totally smitten and even if she accepted the ring and a month later decided she had changed her mind, I don't think she'd tell anyone. She would live with her decision for life.. and that is admirable. Plus have I mentioned how gorgeous she is? She is perfect, but not in a fake body kind of way.
Con: She is perfect!  Is she too perfect for Jakey? I thought maybe for a second I saw that thought flicker through his brain. I don't think they have as much natural chemistry as he and Ali had last night. I think they bring out the cheese in each other, every second it gets worse and worse... and worse. One dinner party I don't think I'd want an invite to.  Her ex. It's still pretty soon and I think that scares him, it should.  She seems pretty damaged. It didn't help that the whole family is almost equally damaged.
She's still my pick!

Vienna. Ugh. If there was a rose ceremony last night, she would have been offed for sure.  Her time has run out.  It's obvious he doesn't like her.  He's going through the motions.  I found it interesting that her dad proclaimed how she's always make him happy, the house would always be clean... hmm. Jerk! I know my dad would never say that about me!! (I hate cleaning)
Pros: I still think he's scared that she'll tell everyone that he cried before they bungee jumped and he's hoping a ring will shut her up.
Cons: I really think that above all other reasons you all hate her, she's young.  She is only a year younger than Ali in age, but about ten years in maturity.  Vienna needs more time to grow out of her princess stage and into her own.  And cut off those hideous extensions already!!!

Next week the overnight dates!  Will any of them even happen? I'm not sure if Jake would be okay with that. I really think he'll tell Ali to beat it when she calls.. go Jake go! Okay.. sorry, Pavs is screaming! Gotta run. Until next week!


Monday, February 1, 2010

Bachelor Break... Take Four

The good news: The motorcycle is gone!!!!!

The bad news: They aren't playing 'On the Wings of Love!!!' quite as often.

Things are getting serious now. This is one Bachelor that I think may actually get married to the lady he picks - as long as he picks right.

Speaking of right... Tenley!
She is my absolute pick. She is the one. She is perfect for him. Beautiful, stylish, cool, not boring, equally as cheesy as Jake. If he doesn't pick her he's nuts. They will get married, on TV, rake in tons of dough from ABC. She'll wear Vera Wang, he'll wear Armani and they'll all live happily ever after.....
Well, we all know fairy tails are just that.. fairy tails. If there is one downfall to Tenley, it is that she may be annoyingly perfect. Too nice, too sweet, and not a lot of edge. I haven't decided if he needs that or not.
(Speculation: I have found that on the Bachelor seasons, they rarely make the chosen girl look bad throughout the show.  Tenley has said the odd bad thing about Vienna, but really she has come across pretty low on the hate radar)

Vienna.  I know you guys hate me for this, but I still don't not like her. I do not like her look - I hate her hair and eye shadow.  I hate that she decided to sneak downstairs to Jake's room and jump in bed with him. That's such an old school Bachelor move, someone does it in every season.  I have a feeling the bed crash wasn't her idea.  For most of the show I really felt like he wasn't digging her anymore. He has put up this huge wall and his body language has been terrible toward her.
But then he took her to his balcony and declared that he is opening his heart to her.  Crazy!
For the record, I don't think they are the best match, but I'm not hating on her like the majority of ya'll are.
It's weird. Normally the villain is someone I instantly have hate for, but in this case the girls have been so awful to her, I feel bad for her!

Gia. Wow. He loooooves her. No really, I actually think he may love her. They have known each other for about three weeks now, why not? How sweet was it when she asked him if it was alright to fall and he said it was alright to fall. That was some serious sparks.  I had goosebumps.
Here's the thing. If you're in to plastic, she is damn sexy. She's got a great body, great wardrobe, and this killer sexy stare. Jake mentioned that he found her insecure - well obviously. Who gets the Heidi Montag treatment and can honestly say they aren't insecure?
I don't think she's a keeper. I think she'd leave him.

Ali. Did Ali mature by ten or fifteen years before her date with Jake?  I'm proud of her for letting it go, even if she only did it when confronted by Jakey. What a great opportunity for her to take him around her neighborhood. That would have been neat. They seem to have a ton of chemistry, but they are not right for each other - let's be honest. He is too nice for her, I've said it before.. they'd be over within two months of the final show.

It was quite obvious throughout the entire show who he'd let go. There hasn't been any real interaction between him and Corey. Their date was boring and the whole kiss thing was awkward.
As for her crying when she left - listen, I've been there and unless you've been there, you can't judge. It's an intense situation to live in, even for a few weeks. I can remember my ears actually rang for a week after I left the show and was thrown back into real life. There is even a psychologist who calls you a few days after you get home to make sure you are mentally okay.  I'll admit, I needed it! Just to make sure the whole ear ringing thing was normal. Plus, it's such an ego killer, especially when you're the only one to go home.

Next week.. home town dates! I'm pretty sure I saw Gia's mane in one of the shots of him having his heart broken.. poor Jakey.


WAIT! Ugh, I think I must be becoming immune to Jake's cheese. I wrote this whole blog without even mentioning him admitting to having dirty thoughts about Vienna.
I have no words.