Life goes on, OH, yadda yadda life goes on..
(Yes I know these aren't the correct Beatles lyrics, but this is how it has always sounded in my head!)
Cool mom thing... or not so cool mom thing... I'm drinking a beer, in my bed at 9pm on a Monday night... Because I can.
Guess what we did!!?!? Oh where to even begin!
Pavel rode his first horsey! Well, two horseys. We went out to my dad's farm for his 65th birthday and Pavel got introduced to a whole bunch of animals. My dad put him on our older horse, Slough Biscuit (like Sea Biscuit, but since there is no sea by the farm and there is a slough.. you get it), that was cute. Then he put him on our year old horse Snowball who has never been ridden. Snowball didn't like that too much and poor Pavel got a bit of a scare. Good thing Grandpa was holding on really tightly! (Horsey time ended quite quickly after that!)
It's been over a year since my last gig with the Oilers. (For those of you who don't know, a few times a year I fill in for the full time in-game host when he's not available). On the most fit, tanned, great hair, perfect outfit and well practiced days, it's scary and intimidating. It's speaking in front of over 16,000 people! And they listen. I've heard them laugh, cheer and boo with me (not at me right?).
Anyway. My lovely friend Derek called me five days after Pavel was born and asked me if I could fill in for a night. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't walk far enough to make it from my car to the building back in November.. but this time when he called I had no excuse to not do it. (For the record, the most exciting things I have done in my life usually have started with that sick, uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach... needless to say, I force myself to do them, and they are very rewarding)
I got a new outfit, I did a workout video that day.. it was so fun! I actually think it's the least nervous I've been ever for one of the gigs.. oh and what a high afterward! I was so proud of myself.
I left Pavel overnight. Yes, you read that right :) Last Friday my mom said, why don't you go to the meet Sheldon at the Olympics tomorrow, just for the night. I'll watch Pavs.
I thought about it for a minute... and then I just booked my flight!
As soon as I pressed confirm on the flight booking I instantly regretted it. My little Pavel! Would he think I was abandoning him? Not to mention I had to come up with enough pumped bottles for him in about 15 hours. I can not pump. It does not work for me and I had to give him about 6 ounces of formula. I felt so guilty...
As soon as I walked out of the Vancouver airport the next day, I knew I was going to be okay. The energy, the vibe, the beautiful sun and flowers.. it's was electric.
I met friends from here there, walked around town, had an amazing dinner, and headed back home about 24 hours later!
I had to bring my pump with me to help take care of business while I was away from Pavel. Well, I only brought a carry-on with me on the short trip. OF COURSE security goes through my bag and OF COURSE some of Sheldon's friends were waiting for me at the end of the line to say hi. Embarrassing. At least that security guard knows his way around a breast pump now!
Once we got back to Edmonton, I couldn't get home fast enough. I basically jumped out of the car while it was still going and ran into the house. I missed you Pavel, but you survived! I heard you were even happy... I only called home 9 times or so. Thanks mom!
(Oh did I forget to mention the guy from the Swiss team who was totally checking me out on the way home?? Oh yes.. still got it! ;)
You know what.. In both of these two events, I felt like me again. I remembered what my old life was like. How confident I felt, how good it was to drink as much wine as I wanted, to have two free arms. It felt good. Not to mention Sheldon and I had some much needed us time.
It's weird to think that this time last year I was pregnant. I had just found out. For the last year, I have never put this thought out of my head. I never thought past Pavel being born. I didn't really imagine what life would be like. I certainly didn't think forward to three months and I only just yesterday thought about Pavel as an awkward teenager with pimples, long arms and stinky armpits. (ps. He pinky promised me the other day he won't date any hos.. so I'm good in that department). It's crazy to think that one day we will be there and I'll be looking back to today.
This time last year, I didn't actually think that although I've had the biggest change to my life ever, that things could and would start to go back to normal.
It's happening. The odd moment here and there. I'm actually getting the best of both worlds.
Could I be any luckier? (Maybe I'm still on that happy hormonal high thingy... having so much fun!)
- He won't stop growling! He thinks he's a little lion. When he's trying to really tell me something he's not happy about, it's rarely a cry, and usually a big roar!
- He JUST started laughing in the past few days.. so cute!
- He loves the teddies on his mobile in his crib. They are his friends and he talks and talks to them!
- He rolls from his back to his side... almost all the way over!
- I had to tell him NO for the first time today. He got in trouble.. for what you ask...? Well, you asked - biting my nipple!! I know he doesn't have teeth, but damn whatever he is doing hurts!
**Pavelisms are milestones and moments that I need to write down so him and I can share them when he gets older. I never, ever want to forget these days!