Monday, March 29, 2010

He's a Big Boy.. Take One.

Not so cool mom thing..... Time is going by so fast and no matter what I do, I can't seem to slow it down.

Pavel moved to his own room last night and his own crib. It's the first time we've tried to have him sleep in his crib.
I know he's four months old, but I'm not going to defend why I didn't want to part with him. I still don't actually. I kind of want him to stay small and sleep in my room.. forever.

We've been having some sleep issues lately and I'm not exactly sure why. We were doing so good! (Not sleeping through the night exactly, but only usually one wake up in the night) He has started getting tired really early, so bed time is around 7:30... but then who knows what the rest of the night will tell.

I will admit that things have obviously gotten much better than when he first came home from the hospital. Check out this eat/diaper schedule I kept track of(sleeping was usually in between):
8:30pm -Diaper
9:00pm - Feed
10:45pm - Diaper
11:00pm - Feed
2:00am - Diaper
3:00am - Feed
7:00am - Feed
10:00am - Feed (I think at this point I stopped keeping track of diapers)
12:00pm - Feed
3:00pm - Feed
3:30pm - Diaper
4:00pm - Feed
6:20 pm - Feed
7:15pm - Feed
8:45pm - Feed
Pavel was only three days old, but I just need to take one look at this and I'm instantly thankful for his 'schedule' now. Besides the lack of long stretches of sleep, the continual feeding was really tough!

(This is one of Daddy's favorite photos of the two of us.. both having a nap :)

Fast forward to the last few weeks and you'll find me thinking of every excuse I can not to move him:
It's so convienient for me to just pick him up from his bed next to me and bring him in bed to eat, instead of walking all the way to the next room.
If someone robs us, they may go to his room first and take him!
What if there are ghosts in his room? 
Not to mention the whole 'is he still breathing' thing that hasn't plagued me until last night.
Running through ideas of how I could keep him near me (because let's be honest, if I wanted him in our room longer, Sheldon could easily keep sleeping downstairs on the couch for a few more months..) there tended to be one nagging little voice that I couldn't ignore. 

'He's a boy, he's his own person. He needs his own space, he needs to grow. Your job as a mother is to love him, cuddle him, teach him, and let him go. It's not about you, Jenny, you're doing this for him.'


This is how last night broke down:
7:00pm - bath and bedtime routine
7:30pm - story time and eating
8:00pm - He's asleep, but he's asleep in my bed. Now I have to start the long trek down the hall (three steps) to his room and put him in his crib. I accidentally bonk his head lightly on the back of the crib, he's awake.
8:00pm-8:47pm - He's having a party in his room with the Teddies on his mobile. I don't think there is one toy that brings him greater joy than these little guys. He starts to realize that he's alone and might not be getting out anytime soon, so he starts growling. He eventually falls asleep. (I've checked on him 4 times already)
8:48pm - I go downstairs and give Sheldon the cold shoulder. I'm not sure if I've felt this sad in a really long time. Back upstairs to pout.
10:00pm - He's awake. I run downstairs and tell Sheldon he only slept for an hour.. haha, it's not going to work after all!! Then I remember it's me who will have to get up with him every hour so I revert to the good old swaddle (which he recently started hating),white noise and some more food.** 
10:08pm - He's asleep. I give Sheldon one last glare and then go drown my loneliness in some crappy tv and shed a few tears.
3:33am - What the hell! Why hasn't he woken up yet? Is he alive?? I run over to his room, he is still sound asleep. That's nearly 5.5 hours... not bad, not bad.
4:40am - He's awake. 6.5 hours! It's been a long time since we've had this stretch! I'm wide awake and hungry for a peanut butter sandwich. Pavel wants some milk and back to bed.
7:00am - He's up for the day. 

Okay, I admit, it was a pretty good night. I didn't hear him moving around or any little whines, so I managed to sleep a bit better. I checked on him a grand total of 13 times, and he was still breathing each time, and there were no ghosts hovering above his bed.

I'm full of sadness, but a also a glimmer of excitement at the same time. I love seeing him hit different milestones, I think he does too. I have a feeling this won't be even close to the last time I'm going to have to let go... 


I just tried to put him down for his am nap and he screamed in that dumb crib for 30 mins (with lots of checking on him from mom in between). I took him and moved him in my room in his old bed and he fell asleep in literally three seconds.



*If you have a newborn baby (three months and under) and you're having sleep troubles and not enjoying the witching hours very much, get the book 'Happiest Baby on the Block'. It saved us! I'm telling you, it works and it started working the same day I read it.  Life saver!

** Family holiday post coming, just looking for the cord to download our photos first!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Boob Envy

Cool mom thing.... or not so cool mom thing... I went bathing suit shopping.

Hey new moms, here's the best piece of free advice you're probably going to get for a long time.
Do NOT Google 'Breasts, post breastfeeding'.
I know you're tempted, so I'll give you a sneak peek into what you may find other mothers saying..

'I'd take your deflated tangerines. Mine are like floppy pancakes.'

Told ya.

Damn boobs. I'm getting really sick of these things.  It's no secret, they were giant to begin with, and now they are even more gigantic-er. They have been for months, no wait, it's been over a year now.

Before I frighten any ladies away from breastfeeding, unfortunately it's being pregnant that will do this to your tangerines not the feeding. (I've said it before, BF is a very cool experience with your baby!) 

I started noticing that something may be up a few weeks ago..
I love catching up on my celebrity gossip everyday, but instead of reading, I was only fascinated by the pictures. 
I have been dreaming of odd clothing items like a spaghetti strapped tank tops or a floor length halter dress. 
For some reason I have such a strong desire to do jumping jacks, cart wheels and I really want to sign up for a 'Learn to Run' mom and baby class. 
Oh and I should warn you, if you have anything less than a D and you see me walking past you and think 'Wow, that girl has a staring problem..' It's true. I do. (Don't worry, I'm a looker not a toucher)

I have total boob envy! I am so jealous, so jealous of you! It actually pisses me off. (Okay, I'm laughing at myself right now, but it's true, you should see my pissed off face as I'm writing this)

I want to go bathing suit shopping and not insult other people in the dressing room areas, is that too much to ask!

It doesn't help that a certain husband of mine said (and not in a mean way I swear, I brought this up and wasn't offended by the comment, just glad he agreed with me) 
'I bet  you'd look 30 pounds lighter if you had a C cup'

It's true!!!!!

I made a commitment to breastfeed (and be Pavel's pillow when he passes out while eating) until he was six months old. I would probably do it longer if I was less endowed. 

There are many sacrifices you make as a mother, this one seems like such a weird one to complain about. 

Coming up... First family vacation! I've already started taking pictures. You can look forward to my step by step directions on how to get a tan at the beach taking care of a baby who is too young for sunscreen and has to stay inside or in the shade. I bet it starts like this:
Step One: Buy self tanner.

Sigh. ;)


Ps. I'm so glad that one piece bathing suits are in right now. I guess working out the week before you leave on your trip isn't enough to get you 'bikini ready' after having a baby.

Monday, March 8, 2010

In-Law Love Lessons

Cool mom thing... or not so cool mom thing... 



It went something like this: 'You know, when he got something in his mind that he wanted to do, there was no stopping him. I was at the bottom of the staircase looking up and shooteroos, here he came running in his superman outfit thinking he was going to jump off the staircase and fly...'

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Ob-la-di Ob-la-da....

Life goes on, OH, yadda yadda life goes on..
(Yes I know these aren't the correct Beatles lyrics, but this is how it has always sounded in my head!)

Cool mom thing... or not so cool mom thing... I'm drinking a beer, in my bed at 9pm on a Monday night... Because I can.

Guess what we did!!?!?  Oh where to even begin!

Pavel rode his first horsey! Well, two horseys.  We went out to my dad's farm for his 65th birthday and Pavel got introduced to a whole bunch of animals. My dad put him on our older horse, Slough Biscuit (like Sea Biscuit, but since there is no sea by the farm and there is a slough.. you get it), that was cute. Then he put him on our year old horse Snowball who has never been ridden. Snowball didn't like that too much and poor Pavel got a bit of a scare. Good thing Grandpa was holding on really tightly! (Horsey time ended quite quickly after that!)

It's been over a year since my last gig with the Oilers. (For those of you who don't know, a few times a year I fill in for the full time in-game host when he's not available). On the most fit, tanned, great hair, perfect outfit and well practiced days, it's scary and intimidating. It's speaking in front of over 16,000 people! And they listen. I've heard them laugh, cheer and boo with me (not at me right?).
Anyway. My lovely friend Derek called me five days after Pavel was born and asked me if I could fill in for a night. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't walk far enough to make it from my car to the building back in November.. but this time when he called I had no excuse to not do it. (For the record, the most exciting things I have done in my life usually have started with that sick, uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach... needless to say, I force myself to do them, and they are very rewarding)
I got a new outfit, I did a workout video that day.. it was so fun! I actually think it's the least nervous I've been ever for one of the gigs.. oh and what a high afterward! I was so proud of myself.

I left Pavel overnight. Yes, you read that right :)  Last Friday my mom said, why don't you go to the meet Sheldon at the Olympics tomorrow, just for the night. I'll watch Pavs.
I thought about it for a minute... and then I just booked my flight!
As soon as I pressed confirm on the flight booking I instantly regretted it. My little Pavel! Would he think I was abandoning him? Not to mention I had to come up with enough pumped bottles for him in about 15 hours. I can not pump. It does not work for me and I had to give him about 6 ounces of formula. I felt so guilty...
As soon as I walked out of the Vancouver airport the next day, I knew I was going to be okay. The energy, the vibe, the beautiful sun and flowers.. it's was electric.
We stayed with friends at their amazing place in Vancouver.. check out the view.
I met friends from here there, walked around town, had an amazing dinner, and headed back home about 24 hours later!
I had to bring my pump with me to help take care of business while I was away from Pavel. Well, I only brought a carry-on with me on the short trip. OF COURSE security goes through my bag and OF COURSE some of Sheldon's friends were waiting for me at the end of the line to say hi. Embarrassing. At least that security guard knows his way around a breast pump now!
Once we got back to Edmonton, I couldn't get home fast enough. I basically jumped out of the car while it was still going and ran into the house. I missed you Pavel, but you survived! I heard you were even happy... I only called home 9 times or so. Thanks mom!
(Oh did I forget to mention the guy from the Swiss team who was totally checking me out on the way home?? Oh yes.. still got it! ;)

You know what.. In both of these two events, I felt like me again.  I remembered what my old life was like. How confident I felt, how good it was to drink as much wine as I wanted, to have two free arms. It felt good. Not to mention Sheldon and I had some much needed us time.

It's weird to think that this time last year I was pregnant. I had just found out. For the last year, I have never put this thought out of my head. I never thought past Pavel being born. I didn't really imagine what life would be like. I certainly didn't think forward to three months and I only just yesterday thought about Pavel as an awkward teenager with pimples, long arms and stinky armpits. (ps. He pinky promised me the other day he won't date any hos.. so I'm good in that department). It's crazy to think that one day we will be there and I'll be looking back to today.
This time last year, I didn't actually think that although I've had the biggest change to my life ever, that things could and would start to go back to normal.

It's happening. The odd moment here and there. I'm actually getting the best of both worlds.
Could I be any luckier? (Maybe I'm still on that happy hormonal high thingy... having so much fun!)


- He won't stop growling! He thinks he's a little lion. When he's trying to really tell me something he's not happy about, it's rarely a cry, and usually a big roar!
- He JUST started laughing in the past few days.. so cute!
- He loves the teddies on his mobile in his crib. They are his friends and he talks and talks to them!
- He rolls from his back to his side... almost all the way over!
- I had to tell him NO for the first time today. He got in trouble.. for what you ask...? Well, you asked - biting my nipple!! I know he doesn't have teeth, but damn whatever he is doing hurts!

**Pavelisms are milestones and moments that I need to write down so him and I can share them when he gets older. I never, ever want to forget these days!

Monday, March 1, 2010

On the Wings of LOVE!

I think I need a shower.

I will admit that I had read and from his spoilers knew the outcome for tonight.  I had seriously hoped that somehow he had got it all wrong.

Poor Tenley. I balled. I'll admit it. Yes she's too sweet, too perfect, and not everyone thinks she's as gorgeous as I do, but I felt awful for her.  We all have to stop watching this show. Seriously! It's not very nice (sorry, for some reason I can not for the life of me think of another word to describe how I feel about this... I think I have grown a part of Tenley's spirit in my heart).

She is a sweetheart. His family loved her. It was sweet to see how much Jake's family love each other. Yes I puked in my mouth a little when Jake suggested they move the table and all group hug for a while, but let's be honest, we're used to this by now.

Remember when Jake and his mom were describing what seemed like some big deep, dark secret he should be ashamed of? He sounded like he should feel guilty or be punished or something?
'Just tell her Jake. I think the best thing you can do is just let her know that you like to be goofy and a little rough sometimes..'
Thanks Jake and your mom. Good thing you got that off your chests.

I think he really tried to fall completely for Tenley, but couldn't.

Goodbye St. Lucia sun. Sigh.

I'm disappointed with the proposal. I sat there with a disgusted look on my face the whole time. It was short, and boring, and anticlimactic. Or maybe I'm just pissed.

Warning bells should have been ringing in his ears all season.. like when he had to defend her to... well everyone he's ever met. Or how about when he asked her how it felt to be married for THREE WEEKS. What about when he professed how amazing the moment was for him, how it was his first time being engaged and he wanted it to be perfect. Was he not thinking - damn, this is your THIRD engagement?

Officially, I'm over it. He loves Vienna. She's his babygirl. Truly they love each other - can we really sit here and pick them apart over it? (She did look different at the Final Rose non? Like not good different...)

I'm happy that he's found someone and that she has had her dream come true. I'm happy we don't have to listen to his cheese anymore. I'm happy that we don't have to continue to try and rip those disgustingly cheap hair extensions off her head through the tv anymore. (PS. If you want amazing hair extensions have the BEST!) I'm happy that they danced and made out to Jeffery Osborne belt it out - how long until the Black Eyed Peas or someone remake this song?
I'm kind of glad it's over. We hope you live happily ever after Jake and Vienna.

It's been fun. Thanks for reading. And for everyone who's been a part of this one, good night.

Normal blogging resumes tomorrow!!!! So much to share about Pavel!


Ps. Jake on Dancing With the Stars??? Thank the good lord I have never been a fan of that show.
PPs. How gorgeous is St. Lucia!
PPPs. Chris Harrison has a blog. If you like the behind the scenes stuff.. check out what he writes every week!