Tuesday, September 20, 2011

2

Pavel,

I can't sleep. I can't stop crying. I can't believe you're almost 2.

Mommy drops you off everyday at 'school' and I convince myself that you really like going there. You really like all of your friends and you have fun. You'd just be bored with me.

But you're almost 2.

Why am I working full time. Is it worth it? I'm tired by the time I get home. I don't take you to do anything exciting on the way home. No swimming, no dance class, no music, no sports. I've got supper to cook and then I want to relax and you go to bed by 8. You don't get to see your friends during the week because it's just too busy.

Is it worth it?

I really like working. I love what I do, but I'm seeing time slip away. Is there even another option?

Pavel, don't be mad at mommy okay? I'm trying to do my best. I'll figure it out, I promise.

Guilt, please let me sleep.

I love you my little P.

xo

4 comments:

Carly DeLuca said...

This made me cry. Its true...its hard :(

Anonymous said...

This made me cry too :( It's so hard as a parent to witness the year's pass by so quickly, we want to keep them our babies forever! As far as working or staying home, I don't think you will ever hear a woman say they regret staying home, but you will hear many say they regret not staying home. Either way, you have to do what is best for you and your family.

Jenny Adams said...

Thanks for your comments ladies. It's such a tough call!
I miss him more and more as he gets older.
Anyway, I dont' want to start crying now too! lol

Anonymous said...

Start consulting...I've told you before, its the best of both worlds. Make great cash, and have enough flex time to be the wife and mom you want to be.