Cool mom thing or not so cool mom thing... I keep living in the past. The year of Pavel. I wonder if I'll ever be that happy again. I must say though, I'm just as happy now, it's just so much busier. No nap time for mommy, no yoga twice a week. Watching The View in the evening just isn't the same.
How many more years until I retire?
I ran into an old friend today in the maternity ward of one of the local hospitals. It was a random fluke seeing him there and at first, he didn’t register it was me calling his name.
“D!” I said excitedly, “did you just have a baby!?”
“Why, yes, yes I did” he says after a pregnant pause, “A little girl.”
I wish I could have caught that moment on camera. He had this glazed over look in his eyes, like he had just been hit in the head by surprise.. but whatever had hit him, felt really, really good. And he had this happy smirk on his face that looked like it wouldn’t be going anywhere, anytime soon.
“What an amazing experience.”
Oh D. Did my husband call you? Ask you to have your baby last night so that I would just randomly meet up with you in the hospital after all these years and be persuaded by the look in your eye to dive into all this all over again?
No? Well, what about the wonderful ladies I work with. On my second day on the job, one of them asked me in front of everyone in the office how long would it be until I was pregnant again - was it her that called you? If not her, one of the others? It’s a pretty regular conversation topic.
It almost worked, D, it almost worked.
In case you were wondering, I am not ready yet. Kids are a LOT OF WORK! Why didn’t anyone tell me how much my life was going to change after I had one? Why didn’t anyone tell me how much sleep I’d be missing out on? How exhausting it would be to have a job, and a child.*
Here’s the thing. Sheldon and I want more than two, we want at least three. And everyone who has three says, oh, just have four! Why not, really...
Last night we had the luxury of meeting a couple who had two young adult boys and younger twin girls.
There was another couple there that had five girls!
And no, we weren’t at some anti birth control convention, we were at the hockey game.
We want a giant family.
It seems like it would be so fun.
It’s so easy to forget all the details in between and just romanticize the idea of having large Christmas gatherings.. and having all of Pavel’s friends love hanging out at his house on Pizza Friday..
How do people do it? It doesn’t matter which way I look at it:
If I’m a working mom.. I get the luxury of escaping the chaos and maybe hiring some help to clean..but I have to be away from them. And why have them if you aren’t going to be with them, some say.
If I’m a stay at home mom, I get the amazing opportunity to get to know my kids, always be there for them, volunteer for their school field trips. Sounds perfect except I’m pretty sure my husband would expect me to cook and clean too (whaaaaat?). It’s not that I couldn’t do it for the chance to stay home with my little ones, but maybe my mind couldn’t handle it - and my shopping habits!
|Pavel's First Skate!|
|Pavel and Dada's Skates|
And what happens if I have three boys - I would need a full time job just to pay for their groceries, I think. Not to mention if they want to play hockey or learn ballet. And how exactly do you manage driving three boys (or girls or a little of both) around to all the sports games, music classes and Mandarin lessons?
Wait. Who pays for all their clothes and shoes when they start growing an inch or so a month?
Does it matter I wonder? Do people with large families just jump in head first and just worry about the details later? At some point does the utter chaos of little bodies yelling and laughing, toys everywhere, marks on the walls, food smooshed on the floor and your new title being 'Chauffeur' create a Zen like state?
I'm thinking it must. Or at least I'll hang onto that thought for a little while longer.. for when I'm ready.
*And yes I’m totally kidding. You all told me these things numerous times.. just like anything though, you can’t really believe it until you’re actually walking in those shoes!
His talking is crazy. I wish I could understand him! Turtle, stars, chicken, cheese, his friends names at the day home, baby, car.. I think he has his mother's 'gift' for gab.
He is a little monkey. Loves to jump and climb, and go up the stairs (ugh.) He especially loves to dance and sing. It's the cutest thing!
He's such a good little boy, we just can't stop talking about him.. and smiling. What a gift!