Thursday, March 22, 2012


It started in our early 20s. Couples around us, they started to get engaged.

Everywhere we'd look, we'd see diamonds.

The first friend to get engaged, usually sets the tone for the engagement stories to come.

Engagement parties. Buying wedding magazines. Hitting up the bridal fairs.

And before you know it, it's your turn.

Stage two, is the wedding portion. It's easy to be engaged. Being engaged is really a year or two of planning a big, fun, expensive and stressful party. Feelings get hurt, credit cards are maxed. Beautiful gowns are tried on, and food is sampled.

'Do I really love him? Yes. Forever?? Sure.. yes. Sure. ?' That thought perhaps will cross a few minds in the Engaged - but really the party's almost planned. Worrying about that, can happen later.

By now, we are in our late twenties. So surprised at how fast the years have flown by. So surprised about this marriage thing. Either how great it is, or how hard it can be, or how meant to be it really is.
For some, all of the above.

What's next? Babies.

We're onto the next big milestone in life.. the little ones.

Meanwhile, as life keeps continuing along the correct path for some, for others it's slowing.

You see, I'm all for the engagement parties. I'm all for the bridesmaid dresses, wedding bands.. and changing teeny tiny diapers. Even the sad mention of the last stage to enter my life recently - divorce (not mine, but of friends we know).. doesn't quite have me as rattled as this one.


Something happened when I turned 30. Like my life said - you are going to have a very fluffy and easy time in your 20s.. but when that magic 30 hits.. watch out.

I'm not ready for cancer to be in my life. And again, it's not me, but friends and friend's family.

I'm not even sure how to react. My dear friends. They are so strong. So so so strong. And because they are strong.. I will be stronger for them.

Do we really have a choice?

'I am not going to be devastated until I hear devastating news. What a waste of time.'

Sweet K, you are an inspiration.

We will hold you up with our love and our good thoughts and our funny stories and our cooking abilities. For one beautiful thing to be appreciated in such a time of worry, is the ability for your loved ones to gather around you and carry you through the hard times.

Please say a thought for your loved ones tonight. Be thankful for your life. For your breath and time, your health.

As the world continues on around you, even in those hard times, try not to get carried away with what's next, as it's so easy to do.. but try and focus on what's right in front of you. Touch it. Feel it. Live in the simple moments. They are the best.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

A Week.

What a difference a week can make.

A husband returned home.

A toddler who is no longer feeling sick.

A mommy who is WAY less stressed at work.

A clean house - third week in a row!! Go P family Go!

Longer days.

Warmer temps.

Good news from the CRA - yes, the CRA.

A few baby names we actually like.

A family Easter weekend to look forward to with all the cousins (minus one very missed one! Say hi to Barack!)

A deep breath.. and a little more clarity.

It ebbs and flows, no?


Some great memories were made this week :)

Family Time

Look Mom.. Big Boy Undies! - for almost an hour with no accidents! Only cost me 4 Smarties.. 
Pavel's Home Away From Home - In his mind anyway.. 


Sunday, March 4, 2012

How am I so bad at this? I'm miserable. I keep crying. I feel like a terrible wife and even worse mother.

I just keep saying 'If this was to be my last day on earth, is this how I want to spend my minutes? Crying and sad and frustrated?'


I don't remember this last time.

This too shall pass.

UPDATE - 2 hours later.

Okay. I've had a chance to take a deep breath. Not the first of this weekend I will admit. I must put this moment in context. Sickish toddler, teething those nasty molars, SUPER crazy at work, finishing off another project, worried for friends, missing my man AND pregnant.

That's enough to make anyone crazy I think.