Saturday, August 18, 2012

Round Two - Four Weeks in

One month old little Sasha! Happy birthday!

This has been the slowest month in the history of my life I think.

Adjusting, adjusting adjusting.

We have good days and we have not so good days. Some nights we sleep, some we don't. Some days we have two crying boys all day long and some days we have peace and fun and less stress.

All par for the course.

Wasn't it me who just a few short months ago said.. Two kids, how can it be that hard. I really don't understand how mom's don't have time to shower.

Why, why did I jinx myself. It's a GOOD day if I have time to shower after Sheldon has left for work.
In fact, we know it's been a good night if I get up before the family and run out on a coffee run. All of a sudden 5 hours (combined) of sleep one night makes you feel like a new woman.. you get your hopes up that life is on it's way back to normal!

It isn't. Not quite yet.

There are so many things I forgot about this stage with a little one.

I love nursing. No more pain now. Well, let me back up, there are things about nursing I really don't love - aka leaky boobs day and night, on the floor, on your feet, through your shirt (while you are grocery shopping and not noticing until you get home and look in the mirror. Sweet) etc.

What I love about it is the closeness to my little baby Sasha. How he rests his free arm on my chest, with those little fingers just waiting to be kissed. How he'll be in a slumber while feeding and quickly open up his little peepers just to make sure mommy is still there with him.
How he'll fall asleep and snuggle me and knows when I slip away and replace my body with a pillow or blanket.
It's just such an amazing way to bond.

Speaking of bonding.. it's been different this time. I will admit with Pavel, it happened instantly. With Sasha, not quite. The first few days I was so so in love.. and continued to be, but as I got sick for about that week and a half, I do think I was affected by the four different medicines I was on. It wasn't as enjoyable, I felt like a robot going through the motions..
You read often that mother's don't bond instantly with their little ones.. but you can't imagine the guilt you feel until it happens to you.

I'm happy to report that love bubbles are bursting all around us now (and not that I never loved you little Sasha.. I loved you from the moment I met you), but now we are starting to enjoy each other. And we are getting into a routine.

There certainly aren't as many picture with baby number 2. Everyone tells you that will happen too. Every shot looks exactly the same! Sleeping. We are getting more awake time now.. some great photos to come.

Just like Pavel, Sasha cries. I don't think quite as bad as Pavel was.. and we aren't into full on colic by any means (you mothers with colicy babies.. bless bless bless you). Because we recognize some signs with #2 we probably didn't know how to see with #1, I think we've minimized the fussing. I know the signs for when he needs to sleep. I have white noise with me EVERYWHERE. I have his bassinet on an angle, he's always swaddled for night time.
Still, when he's awake, he fusses. Maybe 30 mins of happy awake time a day.
(Pavel has learned to walk around with his hands on his ears.. good idea kid, I'll take your lead)

Sasha, so you and I both remember.. this is your own personalized lullaby that mommy very creatively wrote for you. (All my lullabies are made up.. not sure why)

Don't cry, don't you cry.. don't you cry my sweetie pie
Don't cry, don't you cry.. don't you cry my sweetie pie
I love you more than you'll ever know, I love you from your head to your toes
I love you to the moon and back.. I love you and your hairy back (It's VERY hairy..)

And Repeat.

Yes, I'm quite talented and original I know.
Swing.. and Cry

And how is big brother doing you ask? Well, he loves his little brother. He's protective, he loves to introduce him to people, he calls him baby Sashy. He loves to wake him up and poke him in the face and try and play catch with him too.. sigh.

All in all, he's been pretty good, but now I see the jealousy happening more and more. Especially now that my mom is back at work and he's really second on the list of attention right now. He doesn't listen very well, AT ALL. He's starting being more aggressive and being MUCH louder. Perhaps trying to out scream Sasha?
He's more jealous of Sasha and daddy for sure. As soon as daddy gets home he's all over him. Climbing, pulling his shirt, throwing balls at him.. this is all new behaviour.

To be honest, when it's just me with the two boys, he's really pretty good. We have very good days together, but there are definitely moments that mommy's lost her temper a little and raised my voice (which I hate doing) or just started crying myself.

Two kids is... a lot of work.

He still doesn't want to hold him. He kisses Sasha a lot. He's happy to be a brother, that's obvious and what a relief.

Little Sasha, happy birthday my love. At your 2 week appointment, you were already 8 pounds 14 ounces. There is a pretty good chance you may be a red head. Definitely red on your head right now.. mixed with brown. You are so close to smiling! I think you may have given me one or two, but I want to be sure before I officially officially announce to the world (Facebook) your first milestone.. You are such a sweet Prince.


Sometimes they look so much alike.. and sometimes.. not so much!


Jessica Rowe said...

Jenny I love when I see a new blog post and look so forward to reading it. I will always wait for a good time when I'm not distracted and can really enjoy your words. It's like a treat to me. Odd I know but that to me is what makes the difference between a good writer and a phenomenal writer! What a great idea doing this for your sons as a baby book. They will treasure it always. Two boys is very busy I can relate to that for sure! You are doing a great job raising those two handsome sons. Thank you again for posting these and making it possible for some of us to relive some of our own memories of early mom-hood.

Jenny Adams said...

Thanks Jess.. that's really sweet of you to say! I sometimes forget that my friends and family read these posts.. I'm so glad you're enjoying them!!