Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Motherly Interference


Ya.. I'm that mom.

I'm that mom for a number of good reasons really..

I insist that my children have a story read to them every night.
I spent my Monday night talking to our MLA about proposed schools in the neighbourhood so that the boys don't have to get bused away, only to get home at 445 from school every day.
We eat fruit and veggies with every meal.

I don't know.. basic stuff, that any mom would do because she loves her children...


Remember when you put Vaporub in your hair?
So you'd look like a hockey player??
and I'd like to think that this was one of them.

So Pavel started school in September. For me, it was really stressful. Between potty training and a new schedule and a new baby.. and worrying that people would be mean to Pavel, I was at a near meltdown point.

(in fact, the first full day of school, I was so worried that Pavel would pee his pants, I left school and drove straight to Original Joe's and had a beer. At lunch. There's nothing wrong with that, unless you're that mom who picks up her child at 3pm from play school with beer on her breath. Way to make a good first impression Mommy!)



Besties





So plans change and the boy that was to be Pavel's bestie (and his mom mine! I miss you R!!), decided to change to a different school. Which was great for our friend.. the only problem being that now they both missed each other so much - and Pavel now had the task of starting fresh on the friend making scale.

Stress.








Pavel happily goes to school every day. And every day he talks about his best friend at school, M. And how much he likes M. And wonders if M will be at school that day. That he asked M over for dinner but M was having Chinese and couldn't come.

Problem being.. I'm really not sure that little M, who is an older boy in the class, really had noticed Pavel!

We'd go to the park every day after school and Pavel would run after all the other kids.. mainly M.

Hey M! Hey! I'm here M!

And M would be busy being a boy, playing, talking to his friends that he already knew and having fun.
Not being mean by any chance, just being the cute little sweet boy he is.. just not with Pavel!

Seriously, picture this: So the boys are playing together at the park and Pavel is chasing them around. When they stop, Pav kind of does this little slow motion jog around them, with one elbow bent and kind swinging.. as he says:

Hey guys! Hey!.. what are you doing guys?! Have a good weekend guys!

And they ignore him. Bahhhhhh! I could cry writing this!

So because this is breaking my heart, I maaaaaayyyyyy have emailed the teacher about it.

Yup. That's me. The teacher emailer.

Not to complain, but just to check in on Pavel. To see if he was making any friends without his little buddy who had moved schools. I may have mentioned Pavel's affinity toward M and how it didn't seem like he was being included in the park after school.

Our correspondence:
.....

On another note, just want to check in on Pavel. He seems to really like going to school and I can tell he is learning. He loves to come home and sing and tell us stories. 
I feel so sad because he really seems to like one boy M in his class and after school at the park, M and the other older boys ignore him. It's so heart breaking! I'm sure it's normal and that it happens to a lot of kids, I just hate seeing him trying to join in with the kids and talk to them and have them run away. (Of course it's nothing M is doing, he is just busy playing with his friends and being a boy! :)
Does Pavel have friends in class? I just want him to have fun and feel good.

Thanks so much,

Jenny


Here is the response I received:


Hi Jenny,

Thanks a lot Jenny and thank you for bringing up the park problem. I will talk to M's Mom – she is wonderful and pretty strict about social behavior with her kids. M is in his second year at school and is one of the big boys. He is very sweet and I guess gets swept off in the boy’s crowd. But I will address this with his mom – she will for sure talk to M.

Pavel is doing really well. Considering that he is not even 3, he is doing great and is really suited to our environment – he is very keen to learn and he participates in everything in his quiet way. He has started on an individualized curriculum He has not yet made a best friend but it is very early days and he is liked by everyone. He is very much part of the group and is very integrated within the whole group.  I’m sure he will find his comfort level and make a good friend very soon. Now that you have brought this up, I will pair him up with one of the  lads in class and I will get M to be his mentor.

Thanks again and take care
Surabhi


I instantly wrote back to ensure that she knew nothing mean was happening.. there was no real problem, just that Pav was trying hard to make friends with no avail.

Thing is, he didn't seem to notice or mind. But I'm sure he would have soon, no? The line '.. he has not yet made a best friend...' kind of got me. I just have images of him doing his little jig in the park, no music playing, no one listening..
Little bro looks up to Pav already!

Since that email, M has become Pavel's mentor and he sure is one happy kid. He spends a lot of time with M and insists that M is his best school friend.

I mean, I do believe it.. I believe that from Pavel's point of view, he has made a friend who likes him very much.

There have been really sweet moments.. like when M waits for Pavel in the parking lot, so they can go in the class together, or when he rolls down the window as he drives away and says 'bye Pavel!'

Pavel was sick and missed a class. When he came back to school the next day, M was there and asked him where he was.. Pavel said ' Hey M! I'm back! Guess what.. I'm back!'

LOL it's quite cute. M is a really sweet, sweet boy.

So, ya. I'm that mom who emailed the teacher.. and helped get her child a friend. A friend he wanted, or believed he had already anyway. I don't know, was that a wrong move? I'm sure this won't be the first time, right? I just want my little guy to be happy.. and I don't know if I can butt out. (Shocker!)

I just couldn't stomach Pavel going to school and not having any friends. Perhaps that's my issue and not his???


It's going to be a long 15 years ahead of us.. :)

Jenny

Ps. I just have to say how refreshing and how relieved I felt when after school one day we went and had a play date with Pavel's core group of friends - Gaby, Josh, Livy and Dylan. They LOVE him. They LOVE each other. Have so much fun. They are his true friends, without even trying. My boy's a lucky one and a good friend to them.

Pps. When will I EVER learn to go to bed early. I am SO TIRED. Still.

'Baby Sasha - Go To Sleep!' - Pavel and Mommy


Happy Halloween!


My happy boy!



My gf Erin and I rocking our Mos for Movember! Time to get those prostates checked gentlemen! 






Sunday, October 21, 2012

You are 3 Months New!

Baby Sasha! Happy 3 month birthday!



 Just a quick note to say how much we love you. The last three months have been a blur, but I can honestly say that it's getting hard to remember what life was like without you in it!

It seems that every day you are getting happier and happier (as long as mommy doesn't eat diary, chocolate or lots of spices!) and that you like us more and more.

I think you're going through your 12 week growth spurt right now, because your sleep is all over the place again. You were sleeping from 7pm-5am and making mommy SO happy.. but now, you're back up at 2, 4 and 7. I have some dark circles under my eyes! You're also extremely distracted when you eat, so that's been a bit of a challenge, but you still have a few chins, so you won't starve any time soon!


I don't mean to brag, but I'm really the person you smile for the most. I guess that's because I feed you (can you start taking a bottle soon? pretty please??), so I can see why you'd like me best! It's been so cute the last few days, you and daddy singing to each other. You have sure found your voice!

You've also found your hands. They are constantly in your mouth (hey! You should try the same thing, but with a bottle instead of your cute little fingers!), but that's what babies do!

Your big brother hit you in the head with a mini basketball last week. Don't worry, he got in trouble for that one.. shocked he hasn't got you with one of his balls or pucks before this really. He always wants to jump and play with you! Soon enough you two can play and play and play... while mommy reads and relaxes.. right? ;)
You were okay, it was really quite soft. Just a little shocked I think!

Yup, he's taking a run at you!

Surprise! I didn't knock you over! 


You are still sleeping beside mommy in your bassinet. You're almost too big for it, so we've started with you napping in your crib - no problem! You're mommy's big boy.


I've started actually dressing you now too. Sorry! It's just jammies are so easy and you throw up SO much.

Anyway, you are just perfect to us. We love you so much.. Jozef Sasha or Sasha Jo, or Sashy or Sash or Chumba, or Joe.. xo

Mommy




Nana's Favourite Chair





Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Boys - October Update

So hard to believe that little Sasha is nearly three months and Pavel is almost 3 years old!


Sasha has good days and not so great days. He’s still pretty gassy and that makes him mad. That and his stuffy nose from what the doctor says is silent reflux. He hates when mommy comes knocking with the nose sucker, but I must admit.. I kind of get a kick out of getting that snot out of there!! (gross mommy thing, sorry!)

He’s been sleeping like a champ. I can’t complain here.. it started in Calgary 7pm – 5am. What??? Yup. It varies.. as does his bed time, but pretty much 9-10 hour stretches, eats and then goes back down for a few more hours.

Thank you sweet son for that! We are working on his schedule of napping and trying to get in a routine. Not only did I forget how much of a race life feels like with a new baby, but I forgot the importance of being at home for naps.. which is WAY more difficult with two.. and the older one being in school!


I’m getting so many coos and smiles and fun times with my little man, but I seem to be the only one. He is doing better than a few weeks ago though.. so no we just work on the tummy.
Oh and he won’t take a bottle which makes mommy’s freedom, not quite freeing.

My mom was watching him for me the other morning, and he got hungry - there was a bottle of expressed milk in the fridge, and of course he wouldn't take it. So, she went up to my room to grab what she thought was the medicine syringe to get some milk into his tummy.. well, it was actually the nasal aspirator. Yup, the booger sucker-outer fed him milk.

My mom is a very thorough cleaner though.. I'm sure there was no cross contamination!

I think he really likes me. I can tell he's attached to me. He calms when I pick him up and won't for other people. He hears my voice and stops and listens. He talks to me like he's telling me animated stories. Likes mama's snuggles. Yup, I think we're in love. I cherish our alone time. Only because Pavel got all my attention for years.. our moments a few and far between. Probably why he's still sleeping in the bassinet next to me! :)



He just had his 2 month check up.. he was 10 weeks at the time and weighed in at 13 pounds, 4 ounces and 23 inches long. He’s a big boy! 97th percentile for weight and 75th for height. That’s what happens when you have a fussy baby who won’t take a soother.. he gets mama’s boob a lot!


Pavel..
Perhaps a longer post to come to celebrate his birthday coming up.. but he’s been a real treat lately. And yes, I’m being sarcastic.
I’m having a really hard time being patient with him. Sometimes I wonder if I’m made out to be a parent of a nearly 3 year old at the same time as a baby.
I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection.. analyzing my behavior, my reactions.. wondering and researching how I can do better.
I love my life, I love my boys but I wont’ lie.. I’ve uttered the words ‘ I hate this’ a few times recently. That’s so not fair of me and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how those words could slip off my tongue.
I think it hit me this weekend.

It’s not being a mother of two boys I hate (thank goodness..).. I hate who I have become because of it. I hate that I’m stressed, that I’m short with Pavel. I hate that he has to spend more time alone than I’d like him too.. as I’m busy with the baby. I hate that he told me.. full of tears, that I wasn’t talking very nicely to him (when actually, this time I was.. I was just trying to get him to have a pee!!) I hate that I can’t figure this out and be good at it NOW. I hate that I can’t control this.
My little rockstar

There, I said it.. B, I can hear your voice in my head.. yes, I’m a control freak.

I compare it to leaving something that you were really, really good at (work), do to something that you really stink at and you can’t control when or it you’re going to get better at it..

But, that’s not really true is it.
Bros

There are portions I can control. I’m trying. I promise you my boys, I’m trying to be a better mommy everyday. To play more, have more fun, dance more, cook more, make more messes.. and try not to lose my mind in a messy house. 

Pavel is very particular and it's really hard when I'm trying to tend to the fussy, high needs baby. He likes a particular baseball and puck with him in bed at all times. Sometimes he adds in the toy of the day. If he all of a sudden remembers he can't find what he covets in that moment, he loses it. Then I lose it because I don't understand why it could possibly be so important to freak out over.

Sheldon mentioned casually to me this weekend (after over a year of Pavel and his bedtime toys) that when he was young, he'd get bad anxiety if he couldn't find his special ball/puck/toy, especially when he first woke up.

Well, WHY didn't you tell me that before! Now Pavel's behavior makes a bit more sense and I know to be more sensitive toward it... 

I've noticed that Pavel is his normal sweet angel self if we are out of the house, so we try and get out to do fun things as much as possible. I've also decided that there is no point trying to clean and do laundry during the day when the boys are awake. We don't do anything fun this way, and I'm always trying to keep the place clean when in reality, that's impossible. So from now on, fun and playing.. that's what I'm trying this week!

What Pavel Said:

Mommy: Hey Pavel, if your'e a really good boy, guess where we are going to go for lunch tomorrow after the doctor?
Pavel: Where mommy?
Mommy: Wendy's!!!
Pavel: Holy F-ck Mom! Are you kidding me?!??!?!?!?!??!?!

Our potty training woes are nearly gone. What a relief. It's so strange.. one day something just clicked in his head. Like he decided he was going to grow up all in one week. Potty training, starting school and sleeping in his big boy bed.

It was added stress for me, sure, but he's quite proud of himself. Which he should be.

I'm so lucky too that I haven't had one issue with him sleeping in his big bed. He hasn't tried to escape it once. I tell him to go to sleep and he does. We are so lucky to have a good sleeper on our hands! Well, not all luck - I worked hard to make that happen!


Although this post doesn't sound like it, I do feel like we're starting to hit a stride. Getting used to our school routine (school post to come, so much to say!), sleeping more, loving being brothers more..

It's coming.

-Jenny

Daddy and Baby Sash on Thanksgiving



Monday, October 8, 2012

One Week



We have been so busy the last few weeks! Both at home and away.

Started by venturing on my first road trip with the boys to my dad's place out by Rocky Mountain House. It takes about 2 hours to get there and we just thought we'd go up for the day to visit.
Happy to report that both there and on the way back the boys were perfect. Lots of sleeping, no peeing in the car seat and Pav and I even had a dance party to one of the play lists in the truck.

Driving through Alberta's landscape in the fall is just breath taking. I wanted to take some pictures, but well.. I was driving, so I didn't. But I highly advise a road trip here if you haven't had the pleasure of venturing off of the QE2 in a few years.

We had a blast at my dad's. He actually took the day off of working which NEVER happens. Pav was pretty shy the last few times he's seen my dad and Val. Just a phase because him and my dad were off and running around the farm the second we got there!

Pav got to drive the golf cart, feed the donkeys and horses, ride in one of the big loaders, jump on the trampoline with uncle Mo, play some baseball, go for a walk to the creek with Granny and of course.. play with his best friend Willy! They were inseparable! 

ALMOST makes me want to get a dog, but not at all really!














The day flew by and before we knew it, it was time to make our way home... only to pack up and do it all over again two days later!

I gave myself all day to pack for me and the boys for a weekend in Calgary with Auntie Suzie and Uncle Lonnie. I started early. Pavel had school, so I had a valuable few hours to finish of the fourth load of laundry and put everything in piles (in Pavel's room), ready to be thrown into our bags to go.

Well, I pick him up from school at 3 and come home. Sasha won't stop fussing. Crying, hungry, crying, fussing.. I'm getting more and more stressed because I'm trying to get us ready. I snap at Pavel.. take a deep breath and take Sasha into my room to eat.. once again.

I'm feeling pretty defeated right now, it's like riding a bike and just spinning your wheels in mud. Never seeming to get any further.. and when you do, you get sucked back in.

I hear a bang from Pavel's room. I don't even care. I hear a toy box dump out. And then I hear a happy 2 year old playing. 

Here is what I found 

Pavel had decided he wanted to swing on the curtains - which ripped off the walls. Then he spread his toys all around the room, found his bulldozer and 'cleared' the laundry and packing piles. Now his room looks like someone had just broken into our house and trashed it!

I just started crying. Laying on the floor and crying. Why did I think going away would be easy and fun and enjoyable? lol I'm pathetic.

Sheldon came home and we decided to leave the mess and just get the F out of the house before my head exploded any more. 



As usual, we had an amazing time with our family. Our aunt and uncle just moved into a new condo, from the family home they had FOREVER. Many good family sleepovers and feasts took place at that home so we were all a little heart broken when they eventually sold it to downsize.

Life moves on, but yet it stays the same. We ate the same amazing food and felt totally spoiled, just this time we had a 16th floor view of the mountains, golf course and Calgary cityscape! Gorgeous place.



Baby Sash Calgary photo shoot.. see, he smiles!







Pav loves Sue and Lonnie. Lonnie and him are little buddies. One afternoon the three of them went for a walk to the park. After a while, Sheldon and I took out a pair of binoculars (Lonnie's) and searched for them. They were about 4 parks away from the condo and we could see Lonnie chasing Pavel for he had just found a baseball diamond! Oh no.. he loves those things.

We laughed.. until we saw him find a basketball court and saw him take off running to it.. again, there go Sue and Lonnie after him. Little monkey.

It was a great trip that included a visit with Bob the Builder, himself!




What Pavel Said:
#1
Lonnie asked Pavel if he wanted to go for a walk to the grocery store to get some bacon for breakfast.
Pavel: Let's go to the park Uncle Lonnie!!
Lonnie: Hmmmm Pavel, I think the park is closed right now, too bad, I guess we'll go next time
Pavel (pauses to think): But Uncle Lonnie! The Park doesn't have a door!

Gotcha there Lonnie!

#2
Pavel: (hanging out in Sue's room doing laundry) Auntie Suzie, you have big underwear!

Pavel!! lol Sue luckily has a good sense of humour!

________________________________________________________________________________

We came home and headed straight to the football game.. at Pavel's request. It was a beautiful night to be outside. We saw Toopy and Binoo the next afternoon and followed that up with a park party with a bunch of friends! (Thanks Lucky!)

That was all in one week. Told ya.... we've been busy!







- Jenny