Sunday, November 24, 2013

Ready Mom.

First Christmas in our new home. We are excited. Never mind the nearly divorce worthy fight that  ensued over furniture/fireplace/tree placement. Ho ho ho.

Monday, November 18, 2013

My Handsome Boys..

A few family photos we recently had done... Love my boys.

Sasha.. why do you torment me so? Or should I say.. love me so? Always mommy, always. 'Out out out!" (Which means 'UP' to you 50% of the time).
Always sitting on my lap. Sitting with me on the couch. Mommy has to carry you around. You like to sit on my lap in the kitchen when I feed you. You want to be sitting on mommy's lap while she attempts to eat her food.
Today you needed to be in bed with mommy at 5am. Hitting me in the head..
"Hi Mama! Hi Mama!".

Oh Sash.. I love you so. You torment me so. The perfect love affair.


Monday, November 11, 2013

I Think I'm Okay with Four - Happy Birthday Pavel!

November 11th rolls around. Just like that. My little big one is four.

Every year like clock work I try and slow down the minutes. I try and pause and double up the seconds. Live here and at the same time live then - four years ago. The memories of labour and birth and the first moments. The first visitor we had (Jimmy) and the food he brought. The first night in the hospital and the baby snuggles.

I fear I may have overdone it for Pavel this year. I think he was getting annoyed. I set my alarm for 2:23pm. I made sure he was beside me when the clock struck 2:25 - the time he was born. I made him hug me a lot (he has been hugging me all day and weekend.. me, trying not to cry). I'm a sentimental sap and he just wanted to let me know that Ninja Turtles live in a hole in the ground - but only in New York.

So, the feeling wasn't quite as mutual.

I work with a younger gal who is going to be having her first baby imminently. I am SO excited for her. Perhaps I've been laying it on think with her too! Thinking of the excitement of everything new. Touching his skin, and just adoring him. I'm so excited for anyone about to experience their first child. Or anyone who will one day down the road.

Big Boy at the Corn Maze. 75% for height and 75% for weight!
Pavel is four. He is very much a human as Sheldon always says. I feel like he is a different boy ever since we moved into our new home. I don't think year three was that easy on him. New brother, stressed mom, new school, not quite as many friends close by. Three was a blur for me.

Nonetheless.. in the last few months my Pav is back. We've found a groove him and I.

Pavel is shy in big groups. He is stuck to mom's side.
He is super friendly at school. Has made so many friends. Loves to just invite them over, so I find that I have a few kids hopping in my car on the way home.
At the grocery store or anywhere out and about - Pavel will definitely stop and ask what's on his mind.
"Excuse me, excuse me, where are the lobsters? Are they sleeping?" (At the grocery store to the deli man)
Ready for his show and share at school. No fear. Good Stories (HattREEK?) Cheek chewing like mom.
"Finn's mom, Finn's mom.. can he come over and sleep over?" ( no actual sleep overs yet)

Not shy. But shy. Playdates almost always at our house, he doesn't quite like to venture out without one of us there with him.

Pavel is on a ninja/fighting/lego kick. Forget hockey most of the time. Forget sports really. He wants to know everything about fighting. I hate this. We keep it to a minimum.

Even though he's a ninja machine, he is still a gentle soul. He plays so well with other kids. He takes care of the smaller kids (except his brother and cousin.. of course), he is sensitive. He is finding his way in this life and is really a happy boy.

He has been waking in the middle of the night and wanting mommy to come sleep with him. I almost excitedly go to bed waiting for this to happen. I usually don't fall back asleep for hours, but I'm just happy he wants me near by. I'm so worried the time will come when he isn't going to want me or like me so much. I'm definitely not ready for that yet.

We had a small birthday party for him yesterday. A pirate theme complete with his Pirate Piata (spelt how he says it). We had a pirate ship in the basement and a treasure hunt and Pirate Punch. Sword fighting and lots of chasing and yelling. One or two major excitement meltdowns... but it was a fun fun day.

My new fave family photo!

Pavel - you are such a good little boy. You are kind hearted and a good listener (to strangers, not to anyone in the family really). You are funny.. love to play jokes on mommy and come up with some plan with dad. You always let me know if Sasha is in any trouble and you watch out for him. I am amazed by your memory and your empathy toward others. You have been so important to Nana this year and just by being you.. you were really a ray of light to her.

I woke up today really not ready for four. A little grumpy. It's hard to explain though because as I saw you run from your room, eat breakfast and start to enjoy the day.. I wasn't thinking of you as my little sweet baby boy. I saw you and felt comforted. You are such a part of our life. You have always been our family, but as the days and years go on, we get to know each other more when I see you, I know you. I hear you. You know me. We love each other. You make me happy. You hug me when I am sad. You say sorry if you hurt my feelings. You know what makes me laugh. You help clean your dish from the table..... I love you little buddy. So much.

Love mom.

First Birthday

First Birthday 

Second Birthday

Third Birthday

Fourth Birthday

Here is the cake I attempted to make. I got mad at the icing and smashed it. Yeah for IGA cake. :$

Who cares where the cake is from mom.. as long as it's cake!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Grumpy grumpy grumpy GRUMP

What is my problem. It's been a while since I've been grumpy.. for days.

I can't pin point it. It's not family related.. something is bugging me.


I wonder if I'm trying to have all the answers now and don't, so it's making me upset?

We just took some family photos and I did not look good - is that seriously what's throwing me for a loop? No.. I've haven't made my physical self an issue in many years.. I'm not too much bothered by this.

I wish I had better time management skills. I'm feeling like bad about that.

I'm slowing down with work a bit.. does that make me feel rotten?

Ugh. What is my deal?